Will you eat snake and grasshopper?
Will you watch pole dancing?
Will you breathe semi-toxic, industrial Chinese air for six years?
Will you be a luizenmoeder?
A lice mother?
A parent who helps us check all of the school children’s hair for lice on a regular basis?
Go fuck yourself.
You know it’s very common in Dutch schools to do such checks, right?
I’m not Dutch.
Do you know that the beautiful and much loved Queen Máxima of the Netherlands has been a luizenmoeder at her daughters’ state school?
In a decade of life abroad, I have finally been confronted with an aspect of expat living that I may rebel against.
Can you imagine spending your Monday mornings picking through the hair of a dozen squirming school children looking for tiny, crawling parasites?
Your head is itching right now, isn’t it?
Would it help me seem less self-motivated in my reaction if I mentioned that US trends have swung against such school-wide checks (especially by lay-people)?
What’s an expat to do?
Update: I checked childrens’ heads for lice on several different occasions and actually it was no big deal. I would do it again.