Reviewing my start of the year predictions from 2015, I can see that they were all completely inaccurate:
1. A year without moving.
In January I would have thought it more likely that we’d move to the moon in 2015 than move back to Hong Kong. Surprise!
2. The appearance of an authentically delicious taco truck in my Utrecht neighborhood every Thursday evening.
I now 100% believe that the laws of physics categorically prevent any perfect tacos from being made outside of the Americas.
3. Dry weather during all bike-commuting times.
I wore a rain poncho all spring and freezing hail stung my hands as they clasped bike handlebars as late as May.
4. The elimination from the world of all ill-conceived paperwork.
Any American overseas taxpayer can vouch that the paperwork only seems to get worse year by year.
5. Realizing and adopting the perfect relocatable, international vocation.
My plan was derailed by the unexpected international move mentioned in point 1, above.
6. The discovery of a shop selling the (possibly imagined) coconut-flavored pancakes that I once ate on Java.
Even people who know Java well cannot confirm the existence of the pancake-like food that I fondly remember. Was it a Larium induced hallucination?
7. Empty seats next to me on every international flight.
But luckily the seats were filled with my own family members rather than some chatty stranger who hogs the armrest.
8. For all of my friends to relocate to Utrecht. (Alternatively we could all move to ‘mythic tropical Scandinavia.’)
Not only did no one relocate to Utrecht and no one discover mythic tropical Scandinavia, I moved to Hong Kong only to find many friends moving away.
9. That the next James Bond movie is the best Bond film ever.
In terms of Daniel Craig Bond films it was better than Quantum of Solace (a low bar) but nowhere near as wonderful as Skyfall.
10. World peace. Or a least a better global sense of humor.
Learning from my mistakes, my ten predictions for 2016 are completely grounded in reality:
- American politics will remain baffling.
- Someone will talk-up a Mexican restaurant in Hong Kong. I will then go to that restaurant and be disappointed.
- A person I really like will move away.
- Someone new and interesting will arrive.
- The high price of yogurt in Hong Kong will continue to surprise me.
- Mold will grow on some piece of clothing inside my house during Hong Kong’s high humidity spring.
- Chocolate cake donuts will remain delicious.
- I will see a Chinese character tattoo that is either backwards, weird or nonsensical.
- Hong Kong politics will remain baffling.
- Running will keep me mostly sane.