It is the time of year — late spring — when I must shed the Britishisms that continually seep into my life. Living in the former British colony of Hong Kong and surrounded by people who favour (favor) British English and manners, I naturally switch to their behavior patterns whilst (while) here.
This transformation back to Americanish is necessary because there are a great many Britishisms that, if used by an American in the US, make one look like a total pretentious twat (jerk). And I prefer to spend my summer holiday (vacation) in the US mostly fitting in.
So I will swap Celsius for Fahrenheit. I will stop using forks and knives in the Continental way and I will mock anyone seen eating a hamburger with anything but their bare hands. I will not sign-off any more text messages with an ‘x’ and I will call it a ‘cell’ phone rather than a ‘mobile’ phone.
I will also stop using single quotation marks outside of their rightful purpose which is only within existing double quotation marks. I will make this switch henceforth (right now).
I will forget that I know what the word “penultimate” means and I will once again refuse to believe that anyone would use the word “fortnight” outside of a Shakespearean reading.
The transformation has begun. The reward is Tex-Mex, chocolate doughnuts and acceptance come July.